Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form

Borowitz Report
JUNE 27, 2014
Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—After announcing, on Thursday, that it would seek $500 million to help “train and equip appropriately vetted elements of the moderate Syrian armed opposition,” the White House today posted the following Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form:

Welcome to the United States’ Moderate Syrian Rebel Vetting Process. To see if you qualify for $500 million in American weapons, please choose an answer to the following questions:
As a Syrian rebel, I think the word or phrase that best describes me is:
A) Moderate
B) Very moderate
C) Crazy moderate
D) Other
I became a Syrian rebel because I believe in:
A) Truth
B) Justice
C) The American Way
D) Creating an Islamic caliphate

If I were given a highly lethal automatic weapon by the United States, I would:
A) Only kill exactly the people that the United States wanted me to kill
B) Try to kill the right people, with the caveat that I have never used an automatic weapon before
C) Kill people only after submitting them to a rigorous vetting process
D) Immediately let the weapon fall into the wrong hands

continued at….


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Unz Review:

Naked Security

Computer Security News, Advice and Research

Ivy Mike Cafe

Home of the ten megaton F-bomb

We Defend Your Right to Defend Yourself


GOLD is the money of the KINGS, SILVER is the money of the GENTLEMEN, BARTER is the money of the PEASANTS, but DEBT is the money of the SLAVES!!!

Freedom Is Obvious

The Free Thought Project

Free Your Thought


Just another site

The Small Hold - Will Not Go Down Without a Fight


Give Our Kids the Freedom We Had

Guns Save Lives

Stories of Self Defense

The Daily Fed

No talking heads here!

Liberty Conservatives

Conservative and Libertarian Magazine

Pro Libertate


A Classical Liberal Blog on Political Science, Economics, Philosophy, Law, and More

The Camp Of The Saints

DISPATCHES FROM THE CAMP OF THE SAINTS [DHS-Certified Rightwing Extremist / White House Certified 'Fishy' / Carter-Certified Raaaaacist! / Kafir]

90 Miles From Tyranny

%d bloggers like this: